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It seems to me his dating style could result from this. They have the best roasted carrots, and my favorite tequila jalapeño drink. Before the date, Tim had a messenger deliver a cute note: “Me You x 40. He told me that when his mother got pregnant, his father made her choose between keeping the child or staying with him.He breaks off relationships before they get too serious to avoid the risk of abandonment.

I think I have have some sort of guard up preventing myself from seeing Tim as anything more than a very close friend. I wasn’t being critical, nor do I think it’s a big deal. I’m a product of growing up with out any money, so now that I make some money, I get nervous and like to save. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days.As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that. In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. We both teach Wednesday nights, so we went out to dinner after class to the Fat Raddish. When we set the date for this project, I didn’t realize it was actually the first day of spring. Anyway, dinner tonight was pretty normal, not unlike other times we’ve hung out and had dinner. We talked about our families more than we ever did before. It was refreshing to hear this since I didn’t grow up with any money, either. Earlier in the day I sent a little note to Jessie by messenger. I’m not worried about the unknown, but about us falling into our usual roles, and how we deal with that.But when it comes to relationships, I do seek secure relationships that are clearly defined. Jessie brought me a little care package of stuff to jokingly get me through the next 40 days. I wanted to honor our project together with something lighthearted. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? The play is about a bunch of college students going to parties, getting drunk, having sex, and their complicated interpersonal relationships.Well, she and I ended up talking about this Forty Days of Dating project the entire time. She asked us straight away if Tim and I were attracted to each other. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week! Love is not a matter of the heart, it’s all in our brain. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Jocelyn hit us with a TON of questions that I’m not sure either of us were prepared to talk about so quickly with her: 1. It was cute that Tim insisted on being a gentleman and walking me home after the play. How much does it suck to see someone read your text and then they don’t write back? However, Jessie and I have something planned on Sunday, so it was probably best to do a date tonight instead of Saturday night. The things you learn about someone that you think you know. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Tonight was the first time things felt date-y and I felt okay about it.This is something we’ve never discussed, although we have been flirtatious with each other in the past. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. When I have a crazy day at work, I often forget to check my cell phone. Anyway, we went to the Off-Broadway play, Did anything interesting happen? Jessie told me some very personal stuff that’s happened in her life. Apparently she doesn’t check her texts much, which I somehow did not know. The intimate talk and the crisp spring air made our walk home feel a bit romantic. Well I certainly won’t text her if I need to get a hold of her. I think Jessie caught me looking at the Knicks score on my phone during the play.

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